It’s safe to say that with the many stressors that make up our day-to-day lives ― not to mention an anxiety-inducing election cycle ― we could all use a little more light and a little more calm.
Enter “saving the day,” a mood-boosting idea made popular on TikTok by user Trina Merz. The video has amassed nearly 4 million views since she posted it this spring, and has inspired reaction videos from other TikTok users, too.
The concept is simple. “My friend and I came up with this thing we call ‘saving the day,’” Merz, who describes herself as a holistic healer and transformation coach, says in the video. “If we spent the whole day working, we do one thing that reclaims the day as our own.”
Merz explained that “saving the day” can be any activity and doesn’t have to be time-consuming. She listed examples like calling your mother, making a meal, going for a walk, making a cup of tea or reading your favorite book.
“Anything that makes the day feel like you had some space in it again,” she says.
While this may not seem like a groundbreaking concept, therapists told HuffPost that “saving the day” has serious mental health benefits.
“I think the first time I saw these [videos], I was excited and proud of these people for allowing themselves to take breaks throughout the day,” said Amanda Kieser, a licensed clinical mental health counselor at Self Space Therapy in Washington state.
Kieser said that many of her clients “feel this pressure to really give work and work-life everything they have, and so taking time for yourself, taking a pause from work, just feels really challenging or brings a lot of stress to people.”
“Saving the day” is a way of recognizing that folks need to take care of themselves during the day, not just in therapy or once they get home at night, she said.
Saving the day helps break the stress cycle.
“When I first think about it, I come from this angle of having worked with a lot of folks who struggle with perfectionism or even people-pleasing,” Kieser said. “To a certain extent, this pressure they feel… to get this task done all the way through, no breaks and has to be perfect… we know that is just a very easy way for people to start building stress.”
This stress can take a toll on you mentally and physically, she noted. Stress can manifest as headaches, rapid breathing, high blood pressure and more, according to the American Psychological Association.
“Having these pauses, these dedicated moments that I am going to set work down and focus [on] what I need right now in this moment ― I think it’s going to be a really great way to disrupt that stress cycle,” Kieser said.
Being less stressed can help you show up at better at work and show up for your loved ones more fully, too, she said.
Saving the day allows you to establish trust in yourself.
Bad days will exist whether or not you “save the day.” But if you do something that adds some relief and clarity and joy to your day, it can not only make the day a little better but help you connect with yourself, too.
“Could I end [the day] on the note that’s like, ‘Oh, well, it wasn’t a good day, but I took care of myself?’” said Danica Harris, a somatic therapist and coach based in Texas.
This idea “bolsters trust and safety with the self, which is crucial for our mental health,” Harris said.
When it comes to complex trauma survivors, for example, “their biggest issue tends to be that they are hard on themselves, they don’t trust themselves and they don’t feel safe with themselves,” Harris explained. “And if all that is your truth, when you go out into the world ― well, you’re not going to trust others, you’re not going to feel safe with others, you’re not going to feel resourced.”
But if you know you have your own back and are listening to your own needs ― whether that’s drinking enough water, reaching out to a friend for support, or making sure you’ve eaten three full meals ― you can be confident that you’ll show up for yourself, Harris said.
“It builds on itself. Like, every time I show up for myself, my body sees that and feels that and experiences that… and the more I do that, the more I’m going to trust myself in a hard or difficult situation,” she explained. “Their idea of saving the day, it’s not only about making the day better, but it’s also about restoring your relationship with yourself.”
It can help prepare you for hard times, too.
“Saving the day” can even help you become more ready to handle future bad days — and since life isn’t easy, such days will inevitably happen.
“You and I could have the exact same hard day, but if you’re more resourced than me, I’m going to experience it harder than you,” Harris explained.
In other words, if you have a bad day but do two things to “save the day,” you may go to bed feeling like it wasn’t a great day ― but you’ll also know that you did everything you could to make it OK.
By contrast, “if I’m going to bed [and] I’ve done nothing for myself, I could be like, ‘Well, it was a bad day and also, I’m a piece of crap,’” Harris said. “I can be so hard on myself because I’m not doing anything for myself.”
Fly View Productions via Getty Images
Here’s how to start saving the day.
To figure out what can make you feel like you had time for yourself during a busy day, ask yourself: What makes you light up? What makes you feel soothed and calm?
You can try any of the day-savers mentioned above and in the original TikTok video — like calling your mom, going for a walk or having a cup of tea — or you can try activities like petting your dog, stretching, buying yourself a pastry, painting your nails, playing a video game, watching a funny YouTube clip, going for a run, planting flowers and much, much more. “The possibilities are endless,” said Kieser.
“I think it’s important for folks to know that this doesn’t have to be a big thing,” Harris said. “You don’t have to wait to start.”
“Saving the day” today can be as simple as getting up for a seltzer after you read this article, or stepping outside for some sunshine after a big meeting.
“I think sometimes there can be this big barrier to entry … [like] it’s all too big and nebulous and we don’t really know how to do it,” Harris said. “But we can do all of these things — we can show up for ourselves in any moment of the day.”
And you don’t need permission to start saving the day, Kieser noted. It’s common for people to feel like they can’t just do something for themselves, or like they need external validation to do that thing.
You can even use your social circles to hold yourself accountable. In the TikTok video, Merz said she and her friend check in with each other about their day-saving moments. (Ever since learning about this, my friends and I check in on Fridays about how we’ve saved the day that week.)
Adding a buddy to your “save the day” challenge can be a great way to make sure you actually carry it out. Plus, it can help you celebrate that you’re doing this mood-boosting behavior.
“It’s not just that I am doing it, but I’m doing it and with intention, and I can thank myself for doing it,” Harris explained. “And then that’s how it becomes a practice, because I’m actually acknowledging I’m doing it. I’m not just mindlessly doing it, like I’m probably mindlessly working.”
If none of this feels easy at all, you may need additional support — and that’s OK. “If it’s feeling too overwhelming or even the idea of adding in one moment to your day feels too taxing… therapy would be a great way and a great place to start exploring some of those feelings and thoughts you’re having,” Kieser said.
In the end, this behavior is meant to bring “the intention” back to your day, as Merz says in the TikTok video. It helps you refocus your attention on yourself when there are so many other things out there competing for it.
While “saving the day” doesn’t have to be a big portion of your day, it can be a meaningful part ― and maybe even the best part.
